**our best bet**

off to 2/4 holdem –
m and i scuttle
through crowds
of slot fanatics
past rows of $1 machines
˝ dollar machines – quarters
then we were
amidst amass of
‘nickelodeon’S

well they had
to be twins
BIG and
man i'm talkin
heffer
darkskin bimbos
inky kinky corn-
row’d hair high
cheekbones and
they didn’t need fat
injections of the
lips
or hair
enhancements
on their furry arms
and they wore a-
line khaki
skirts ending
below the knee and
the same violet
tight tank top …
and those things inside
were like
!DIRIGIBLES!
airship air balloons
and
there was no
way past those
two who
jutted out into
the middle
of the aisle

with great effort
they struggled
to reach the slot slit
to get that 5˘ piece in there
to reach the handle
to(o)
kick off the machine
to reach the desired result:
!JACKPOT! ...

but then
the one to the left
dropped a coin
and that one
nickel
lay flat
on kaleidoscope
carpet between the
two one-
armed bandits …

that indian head
glared back …
with a snicker ..
the twin?s
looked down then
at each other and
they both went for it
simultaneously
spreading -
hems holding
legs like
tri(bi)pods...
hadta be
100 TRIPLE –Zzzzzz'zeppelins!
hangin like
gargantuan summer
squash

...they wobbled
toward the floor even
if they did
fall
those things would
hold them up like
a jumbo jets
landing gear

m & i hysterically looked
at each other holding
in laughter with
our palms
while others just
laughed out
loud

the other one
finally
grabbed it
gave it to
the other one
-an applaud
in the distance
they made it
UP
and we passed
embracing
our best bet
steering
clear of those
things which
we agreed
belong in an
aviation museum
along with
all the other
blimps

**always**

i played
til the last quarter
double jokers wild
fucker
not ONE joker
rolled around
what’s with this shit
not one regular
straight 3 of a kind or
any kind of flush...
2 of a kind paid 2
but
i sunk them back
in quick
without a thought
what a joke big
fuckin’ deal
and
in the end
i lost
and it didn’t take long -
my shirt shoes hat[if i wore one]
panties [if i had them on]
poooof not
to mention
a weeks worth of
good paying
blow job
monies…

a washout
LOSER

but my sister
stood in line
at the cashier
window

she won
but i could
tell it wasn’t
much

the small
bucket of coins
protruded
from the top of
her big purse

i was through
and
i walked toward
the fast moving line

she was 5th
waiting her turn
to cash in

she pulled the bucket
from the purse as
she got close
i caught up
started to look in
but it
was what was
on the outside
that struck
a chord

i pointed
snickering sneering
coughing
which drew nearby
spectators

i said “jesus christ do you
always wear
yer period pad
on the outside of
yer bucket….?”

she looked down
at the outside
of the bucket

everyone
roared like
funny circus
clowns

that thing stuck like
super glue sticks to
…you…

“fuck you” she snarled
embareassingly her
eyes red as
the scarlette
in.her.face and
she ripped it
off fast
shoved it in
her purse

“hey”…i hooted
“…with wings
ya might think
that thing would…
like
take
off"
ha.ha.ha!

**incident at valet parking**

we wait outside
the back end
of the casino
for the valet
to pull up with
my conversion
van

it was at the Sands
i was with
daddiO
talking bout
what we talked about
while
drinking drinks
at the bar

my back itches
he scratches it
sensually
with his long firm
rake-like fingers
he’s that way

and then
it happened
suddenly and
out of the blue

this hoodlum
darts out
of nowhere
zooms up to a car
picking up
a casino patron -
an elderly woman

she opens the back
drivers side door
the old man driver
don’t get out
he’s ready
for take
off

the thug pushes her
she falls in on
to the back seat
he grabs her purse and
runs like
a bat outta
hell

we rush over to
where the car is so
does everyone
standing there
waiting
for valet
delivery

an outside
maintenance man
ran after him
with his broom
batting him over the head
over the head
over the head
then the back
again again and
again while
the thief
shielded himself
with his arms

the rest of
the crew is
over there and
they drag him
back to
the casino door

he lay there
fetal
covering
his bloody head with
his bleeding
arms

the old man
driver
steps out
of the car
the elderly woman
holds tight to the old
man driver
shuddering and
shaking

the police arrive
posthaste

the police arrive
posthaste

some stupid asshole bitch
in the crowd yells:
“that maintenance man
should be arrested!”

i holler back… “hey asswipe..
it’s too bad
you weren’t the one
being robbed…”

**wasps**

anytime
i mention
the word
wasp
to anybody
i make them
say it

go ahead
you say it
w.a.s.p.

and then
i say it
plurally
with my
eyes
closed

funny
how
this drives
people absolutely
nuts saying
it out loud
over and
over

go ahead
you try it
waspssssSsssssssssSsssss

well by the time
i’m through with
this bumblebee
lesson
i’m not sure
if these people
want to kill
the word (wasp)
the waspssssSsssssssssSsssss
or
me

-----------

ha! and then along comes mary
...or

i sleep with pens
go here for the scoop