Ew.
Midget and I were baked and in her haggard Ford Escort driving over the 21st St. bridge when we saw a furry. Of course, we were only 16 or 17 at the time and we didn't know what a furry was yet.
He was waving, that bear, and walking down the sidewalk on one side of the bridge wearing a red vest and, if I recall correctly, a bow tie.
We laughed and laughed and laughed until it hurt.
I wrote a poem about the incident a little later which made me laugh and laugh and laugh until it hurt all over again. I didn't know it was probably a furry. I didn't know that there are people that dress up like animals and hump each other. I didn't know!
And I didn't really want to know.
But a couple or so years ago I found out what a furry is by accident. I think I was looking at weird shit at Portal of Evil. I don't remember specifics, but I saw pictures and I read things and I found out about these people. With the furpiles and the yiffing and the horse rape and the weird sect that humps stuffed animals and whatnot. I was repulsed.
There are pictures of me with Mickey Mouse and Goofy when I was a little biggun. My favorite cartoon was ThunderCats. I loved that Disney Robin Hood movie with the animals as the characters. I loved The Wuzzles. I loved my pets. Then I found out about furries getting off to my cherished childhood favorites.. SEXUALLY!
Oh god! Oh why? Oh how? Oh ew!
And then.. ohh.. and then I saw a picture of some furry convention and some people had their kid dressed up like a critter and there with them! Jesus Christ!! You aren't supposed to involve your children in your creepy sex shit! I've also seen creepy pedophiliac furrism sites.. that's the worst of it all. Furry pedophiles are more evil than pedophile clowns, even.. because most children know to be afraid of clowns.
Now, the list:
- It's not right to fuck your pets or anyone else's.
- It's not right to fuck your neighbor's farm animals.
- Don't give me that crap about how "on the inside" you're some critter, because that's bullshit.
- DO NOT go out in public and hug children and old ladies in your goddamned sperm-splattered costume.
- Spankin it to cartoon animals is fucking creepy.
- Spankin it to Animal Planet is fucking creepy.
- Fox tails and cat ears and horsetail buttplugs are not sexy.
- Butter troll fat guys dressed like female cats are not sexy (and neither are the ones that dress like Sailor Moon, for that matter).
- The smooth gray flesh of a dolphin is not sexy. Their ejaculation can break your jaw.
- There's nothing in the world that is worse than a furry pedophile and all of them must die.
Furries need to be informed of these things. It seems like they don't know them already.
Perhaps I'm more disturbed by furries than I should be.. but I don't think so.
Ok then.. you have a swell day!
Rock on.
Peace out.
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--Sara T. Biggun
sara T punk