John Korn

 

I Don't Know

I like fantasy. You know stories about monsters and hero's and other worlds. But sometimes reality just gets too confusing from being ignored for so long that it gets fat and crowds up the room. I guess I could sit with my back turned and wish it away, but what's the point of that, if something's taking up so much space you might as well get comfortable with it.

So, I'm finishing up three years of college and if I want to continue I'm probably looking at another three, most likely more. Nothing much going on.

My dog's throwing up again, she goes through cycles every other month or something like that. She'll throw up for awhile and eat grass to ease her stomach. She'll stare at me all guilty like she done something wrong so I try to make her feel comfortable. She got a lot going on inside that doggy brain, and a low self-esteem.

She also got long nappy hair and sometimes her shit gets stuck in it and I got to cut it out. I don't mind. You can't play video games all the time.

You got to escape somehow. Books. Movies. Drawings. Music. Weed didn't work for me. Some people smoke it and mellow out. I'd get delusional about some dreams then I'd come down below the level where the dream is dead and I hate everything and everybody and I'd run my mouth off cursing people and blaming them for my problems. After awhile it was a joint and a pill or two if someone had some and on christmas of 2000. I said fuck this and smoked my last joint, bugged out, and never touched it again. Now I just like watching other people get high.

I did take some Viccodin when I got my wisdom teeth taken out and a small fatty tumor removed from my tongue. The lower half of my face felt like it was smashed with a brick. I couldn't really do much. My parents rented movies. One of them was Angela's Ashes and we watched it together. They're good people.

I haven't done much with my life. I've been a wreck, an asshole, half-crazed, half-asleep, a pussy, a joke, a weasel, annoying, unwanted company, I outwore my welcome a few times and Iíve been alone. I've said sorry for things that I meant and sorry for things that I had no control over. I guess I was just sorry. And sometimes I still am. But there is good stuff too, and even if times get fucked, at least i got time and I know a few people I'd like to spend it with.

I thought up story about a haunted television set. Far from original but I'll give my best shot. I look forward to writing it. In the meantime I'll over load on x-box games and books until my dog gets shit in her fur again. By that time it will be summer and I can hose her down in the back yard with the sun beating on my back and clumps of crap falling onto the crayon green grass.
Screw dreams, you have to have goals.

"I yam what I yam" --Popye




John Korn:
     I'm twenty four years old. I been living Pittsburgh all my life. I'm a college student at CCAC Allegheny campus, studying english/literature.



grafitti messageboard

email | to forum | BACK
© 1998-2004 John Korn / the-hold.com - all rights reserved
[ TOP ]